Good morning. Happy Sunday!
I have spent a lot of time this week second guessing myself. I have become distracted with things that do not concern me and have forgotten my spirit. I have been envious of others with houses, and envious of others with families that seem to function so well, while my family lives in a camper and struggles with being too close physically, all of the time.
Perhaps this is a period of growth for us if we can overcome our desires to get away from one another. This too shall pass. As we settle into life in a small camper, we become accustomed to one another--the good and the bad. We are after all only human. Humans being human in a small space.
What if there is no alternative but to acknowledge ourselves? We have emotions and we can learn to relate to one another if we can overcome our discomfort at being vulnerable in front of others.
Isn't it the American way to shove our feelings out of the way and hide our discomforts in the space of our big houses? So that most families can avoid one another and simply co-exist under one big roof without ever having to really deal with their stuff?
Now, I find I may have to deal with my stuff. There will be no hiding raw emotion in the limited cabinet space we have here. There will be no running away and avoiding--there is no place to go. The people I live with are always near. And that's okay.
Who are my biggest teachers but those who push my buttons? How do I learn to be a better person without the trials that are presented before me? It is a gift really to have these moments with my children, with my partner, as we really learn one another. There is nothing to hide in small spaces.
It is time now to face myself and pull out my old suitcases of hurt and blame. There simply is no longer any room for those past things. It is time to move on and forgive myself and forgive everyone around me for simply being human. We all make mistakes. We all lose our patience and get angry. Some of us deal with our emotions better than others, but there is always time to learn new skills--if we are up to the challenge.
So, instead of worrying about where we will be when the winter sets in, or if moving to a raw piece of land was the right decision, instead I choose to focus on growing myself in this small space. Perhaps I can learn how to accept what is and simply be, and give myself time to enjoy the spirit being human.
Every person we encounter is another spirit, taking on the difficulties of being human. Sometimes it's really hard, but sometimes it's not. Life is a joy. Being alive and breathing clean mountain air is a blessing. I am blessed to be surrounded by people and circumstances that allow me to learn and expand.
I am grateful for this moment and this space.
Love to all.
~ Rev. Kerry
No comments:
Post a Comment