Confrontation and learning (10. 19.14)

Good morning. Happy Sunday!

Know this: You can not change anyone else, you can only change yourself.

I have had a recent personal experience that has brought this all to light again for me. And I have realized that there comes a point when it is certainly okay to stand up for ourselves and our own rights. If we are not hurting anyone and are living within the rights of the laws we have the right to continue to do so. But, how we express ourselves in the face of these confrontations and personal challenges says a lot about who WE are and not so much about who other people are. In reality and in the grand scheme of things, that person does not matter nearly as much as your own reaction and your own growth and spiritual advancement as you go through your life.

As much as we'd like to, when things get tough with those around us, we will never be able to make them change or even see our point of view, in most cases. And they shouldn't. It sure is frustrating though, isn't it?

The people that surround us are our greatest teachers. Not only the people that bring us joy and obvious positive teachings, but all people have something to show us about ourselves. If someone is getting on your nerves, you might ask yourself why? Your reaction to them or their actions is your issue, not theirs. Why are they pushing your buttons? What do you have to learn about yourself?

It is important that you take the time to explore your own feelings and very important that you do not REACT when in a volatile situation. Certainly take the necessary measures to protect yourself and even defend yourself if need be, but do not ever participate in the violence. There is a great form of communication that teaches nonviolence and how to handle yourself in potential violent situations -- how to diffuse the altercation. Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It would do everyone good to explore and possibly learn this method of communication. There are often classes offered around the country to teach the methodology and application of NVC.

In most situations we encounter in our daily life, the people are not particularly violent, but they may be acting contrary to our points of view or what we are trying to accomplish. In these situations, it is helpful to remember the mirror analogy. Everyone around us is a reflection of some part of use. It is our job to determine how another's behaviors or words are also a part of our own behavior and belief system, often when we can't recognize it within ourselves.

When we can see ourselves in those around us, not only do we experience empathy, but we allow ourselves to accept parts of ourselves that we need to work on. Acceptance is the beginning. Acknowledging the issues gives us the doorway to change.

Everything is an opportunity to learn. Every situation and person we meet has the potential to teach us something about ourselves, We can choose to embrace that opportunity to learn or we can avoid and deny that which is within ourselves that we may need to work on.

What is your life telling you? What are the messages? What do you need to recognize and work on within yourself?

Instead of reacting, let us open our eyes and our minds and really see what is being offered in every situation. Perhaps a situation is presenting itself as an opportunity for you to stand up for yourself and say hey, I have rights too. But we can do this in a calm and rational way.

Express love and kindness.

Have a great day!

Love to all.

~Rev. Kerry

Living in small spaces (6.29.14)

Good morning. Happy Sunday!

I have spent a lot of time this week second guessing myself. I have become distracted with things that do not concern me and have forgotten my spirit. I have been envious of others with houses, and envious of others with families that seem to function so well, while my family lives in a camper and struggles with being too close physically, all of the time.

Perhaps this is a period of growth for us if we can overcome our desires to get away from one another. This too shall pass. As we settle into life in a small camper, we become accustomed to one another--the good and the bad. We are after all only human. Humans being human in a small space.

What if there is no alternative but to acknowledge ourselves? We have emotions and we can learn to relate to one another if we can overcome our discomfort at being vulnerable in front of others.

Isn't it the American way to shove our feelings out of the way and hide our discomforts in the space of our big houses? So that most families can avoid one another and simply co-exist under one big roof without ever having to really deal with their stuff?

Now, I find I may have to deal with my stuff. There will be no hiding raw emotion in the limited cabinet space we have here. There will be no running away and avoiding--there is no place to go. The people I live with are always near. And that's okay.

Who are my biggest teachers but those who push my buttons? How do I learn to be a better person without the trials that are presented before me? It is a gift really to have these moments with my children, with my partner, as we really learn one another. There is nothing to hide in small spaces.

It is time now to face myself and pull out my old suitcases of hurt and blame. There simply is no longer any room for those past things. It is time to move on and forgive myself and forgive everyone around me for simply being human. We all make mistakes. We all lose our patience and get angry. Some of us deal with our emotions better than others, but there is always time to learn new skills--if we are up to the challenge.

So, instead of worrying about where we will be when the winter sets in, or if moving to a raw piece of land was the right decision, instead I choose to focus on growing myself in this small space. Perhaps I can learn how to accept what is and simply be, and give myself time to enjoy the spirit being human.

Every person we encounter is another spirit, taking on the difficulties of being human. Sometimes it's really hard, but sometimes it's not. Life is a joy. Being alive and breathing clean mountain air is a blessing. I am blessed to be surrounded by people and circumstances that allow me to learn and expand.

I am grateful for this moment and this space.

Love to all.

~ Rev. Kerry